Caremark II

Dementia care Guildford. Dementia care Woking.

Today we are tackling the tricky question ‘Should I lie to somebody with Dementia?’

Sometimes when a person has dementia, they may ask questions like: “When is dad coming to visit?” even though the person’s father sadly passed away many years ago. Or a person living in a care home may ask “Will I be going home soon?”

The difficulty we face, is, do we lie? Or do we tell the truth and risk upsetting them?

Unfortunately, there is no black and white answer. We don’t want to lie to a loved one, but equally we don’t want to confuse them, cause distress or to harm them. We don’t want to be cruel by repeatedly breaking news about somebodies’ death for example.

So it’s not a question of should I lie or tell the truth, it’s more of a question like “How should I respond to this question in a way that doesn’t cause distress?”

It’s not easy, but try to understand the emotion behind the question. For example, if your mum asks ‘Who are you?”, she may be asking because in her eyes, you are a stranger and your presence makes her anxious. Explaining that you are her daughter may cause more distress in that moment, so it might be in her best interests to simply say ‘I’m Craig, I love you very much and I’m here to take care of you”.

If you’re asked “When is mum coming to visit?”, even though mum has passed away, you need to think about the emotion behind this question. Maybe they are missing their mum and feeling lonely. So you might respond with “Not today, but let’s take a look at mums photos and you can tell me all about them” Revisiting memories may bring happiness and you could alleviate any loneliness by simply spending time with them.

If certain questions are common and keep coming up, you may want to manage these situations with ‘Distraction”. Ie, trying to focus their attention on something that they enjoy or makes them happy, but we should never simply ignore their feelings.

As always, the team here at Caremark Guildford and Woking are always here to help, support and answer any question you may have.

alzheimers.org.uk/

#guildford #woking #homecare #elderly #elderlycare #dementia #alzheimers

Caremark

© 2025 Caremark Limited. All Rights Reserved.
Each Caremark Limited franchise office is independently owned and operated.

Designed & built by SandisonPay